Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Bracing my teeth? Fuck la, I don't know whether to or not. My mom told me to go Bedok Polyclinic to get referral. Fuck, I'm still deciding. It's 3.22am and I'm fretting over it. I got e-Trail test for BTT tomorrow at 4.12pm.
Fuck la, I don't know. I know I'm swearing alot, but I'm feeling fucking confused la. Like just not confused, but fucking confused. As in, not just one clump of @#$%^&*( but rather multiple times of !%^&*(^&*^. Ya, something along that line.
Maybe that is what people meant when they say words can't describe what they are feeling. BUT, isn't that usually a good feeling? Why is my cannot-describe-in-words feeling for the bad. Fuck la, must be KARMA. Me laughing at down in the dumps people had finally caught up with me. -Sigh. OH WELLS, that spells no sleep for me for the 5th night in the row. I is getting Insomnia. WHYY DEPRIVE A POOR GIRL OF HER SLEEEEEPPP??! SHE IS IN DESPERATE NEED OF SLEEP.
Adapted from Wikipedia:
Insomnia is characterized by an inability to sleep and/or to be incapable of remaining asleep for a reasonable period. Insomniacs typically complain of being unable to close their eyes or "rest their mind" for more than a few minutes at a time. Both organic and nonorganic insomnia constitute a sleep disorder. It is often caused by fear, stress, anxiety, medications, herbs, caffeine or sometimes for no apparent reason. An overactive mind or physical pain may also be causes. Finding the underlying cause of insomnia is usually necessary to cure it.
Must be an overly active mind; fear,stress,anxiety? Or maybe all of them. I am losing control of myself la. I used to be fucking calm last time, taking stuffs in stride even if that spells diaster. Now? FUCKED UP.
Anyways, I know something is terribly wrong with me. I've been listening to those darn heart-wrenching love songs for the past week. Nvm, that is like, mild. The ultimate came when I accidentally channel surfed into Cable TV's channel 1, where no program was broadcasted, only piano pieces of songs. I was like, "Eh, this song, nice leh, I heard it before. WTF is the song." When it hit me the title of the song, I was like, "FUCK, I WANT TO WATCH TITANIC RE-RUN SO BADLY." Why? Cos the song that was playing was Celine Dion's My heart would go on. SO NOT MY GENRE OF SHOW BUT I ACTUALLY WANTED TO WATCH IT. Now, I really went mad.
Diediedie. I don't know myself anymore.
3:20 AM
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